One of the hardest things about being a mother of eight is remembering to meet each child where he or she is. As things get busier, I admit, I am less inclined to slow down and look a little one in the eye and really find out what he or she needs. Too frequently, I task an older child to take a sibling outside, or fill up a sippy cup or change a diaper. Utilizing helpers is fine, as long I am not relinquishing my role.
This morning I even had the thought that I couldn't wait until all of my children could speak clearly and tell me what they want. I have a two year old who is just starting to talk and an almost four year old who is still hard to understand. That is, when she will answer you at all. I admit, I get a little impatient and tend to tune them out. I declared that if I have another baby that child will talk clearly by 15 months! The kids challenged me as to how I planned to accomplish that and I don't know, but I mean it. LOL!
Two of the girls are sick and sleeping on the couch. Augustine is napping and Teresa is bored silly. She often is. She's been begging for Easter candy or computer time or whatever, and all of us big people tend to say yes instead of getting down on her level and meeting the need that she doesn't know how to express. She doesn't need candy, she needs Mommy to do a puzzle, or read a book, or take a walk. This dawned on me today as I was researching high school curriculum, and she was talking incessantly. So, we put on her shoes and jacket and went to get the mail. But we didn't just get the mail. I made myself slow down. I let her lead. We listened to birds and the water in the creek. We got down on the ground and looked at bugs. I even let her blow dandelions, no matter how it affects the yard next spring!
It is a lesson that I have not yet mastered. We are back in and now she wants to paint. Like everything, I need to find balance. The place to start though is by looking her in the eye and connecting. If I do that, then saying no to painting sometime won't feel the same to her as it does when I am busy in my own world.
Just for today, I want to meet each child where her or she is, look into those eyes, and connect. Otherwise, what am I doing this all for?