Merry apparently is very happy where he is. He is rolling and kicking and staying tucked safely inside. Yesterday, my due date, has come and gone. God has a plan and I am trusting in His timing. I can chose to be anxious and impatient, or I can chose to trust and be patient. I chose patience.
In the meantime, I am taking the advice of a wise friend. I am feeling every kick, every movement. I am rubbing my belly and talking to my little guy. I am trying to etch this feeling of life inside of me on my memory. God alone knows if these are my last days of pregnancy. This may or may not be the last time I am blessed with the gift of new life. It is a strange thought that this could be "it".
Many friends who are a few steps ahead of me are experiencing the new phase of life where the babies aren't coming. Though they plead and they pray, time passes and the possibility seems more remote. I watch as they struggle gracefully, if not always joyfully, with this new reality, wondering how I will feel when my time comes. There may still be time for more babies for us, which seems intimidating to me now, but I know enough not to take anything for granted.
So, I am asking God to bless these last days, hours, moments with His grace, that I may live them well and fully aware of the awesome gift and responsibility I have been given.
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I had the same feelings at the end of this last pregnancy. Anxious to see her, yet trying to savour what might be my last pregnancy. It is a little sad to know that fertility is winding down. But how much more precious is each opportunity to participate in God’s great work?
Wishing you rest while you wait, Molly!
I had the same feelings at the end of this last pregnancy. Anxious to see her, yet trying to savour what might be my last pregnancy. It is a little sad to know that fertility is winding down. But how much more precious is each opportunity to participate in God’s great work?
Wishing you rest while you wait, Molly!
Molly, lovely post. I see you and Nissan with your big families and have to admit I’m green with envy. My youngest (of 3 living children and a little saint in Heaven) will be 11 next month. I have desperately wanted a 4th child since she was 2. But nothing. I have been to such a dark sad place over it, but God finally brought me out of it. First, I was sad, for years, then mad, now it’s a bittersweet acceptance. God really does open and close the womb. I can’t believe it’s been 8 years since actively praying and hoping for another baby. I guess God decided to close my shop. I get wistful when I think of how neat it would have been to have had more sons and daughters. I’m almost 45, it could still happen. But, I’ve kinda lost hope. For your sake I hope you do have more babies. I so miss nursing and even cloth diapering. Weird huh?
Molly, lovely post. I see you and Nissan with your big families and have to admit I’m green with envy. My youngest (of 3 living children and a little saint in Heaven) will be 11 next month. I have desperately wanted a 4th child since she was 2. But nothing. I have been to such a dark sad place over it, but God finally brought me out of it. First, I was sad, for years, then mad, now it’s a bittersweet acceptance. God really does open and close the womb. I can’t believe it’s been 8 years since actively praying and hoping for another baby. I guess God decided to close my shop. I get wistful when I think of how neat it would have been to have had more sons and daughters. I’m almost 45, it could still happen. But, I’ve kinda lost hope. For your sake I hope you do have more babies. I so miss nursing and even cloth diapering. Weird huh?
Molly, you and Merry are in my prayers. Yes, be thankful that there may be more and cherish each moment with this little one. I think that we are similar in age and although it should still be possible for me to become pregnant, I have not done so since my miscarriage last year (I may have had three early miscarriages in the last year). My children pray each night that “Mommy” has another baby. Enjoy every minute! I am looking forward to seeing photos of Merry. May God bless you and your beautiful family!
Molly, you and Merry are in my prayers. Yes, be thankful that there may be more and cherish each moment with this little one. I think that we are similar in age and although it should still be possible for me to become pregnant, I have not done so since my miscarriage last year (I may have had three early miscarriages in the last year). My children pray each night that “Mommy” has another baby. Enjoy every minute! I am looking forward to seeing photos of Merry. May God bless you and your beautiful family!